I go by the play name, Bunny. Trust me, as Spring arrives it helps to have a furry play name to separate my voracious, erotic self from my serious, professional self. As an office manager, I dress respectably all day and keep Bunny as silent as a nun. But every so often, Bunny has to come out and express herself -- she’s a horny show-off after all. And it’s damned lucky for Bunny that relief is on the way. My husband and I are heading out to Las Vegas later this summer to hit the Annual LifeStyles Convention at the Stardust Hotel! Don’t get me wrong. We have great local swinger parties in my area, but it’s so exhilarating to be among hundreds and hundreds of couples who are just like us. Instead of being the minority, we ARE the majority! And I’m just dying to show off because Convention gives me a chance to let it all hang out.

We love going back time after time to reunite with old friends and play with new ones. A lot of wonderful networking goes on, both out on the floor and in the private suites, and once you’ve bonded in person, it’s easy to stay in touch with your new friends (we even do it on One Night Stand Girls). It’s empowering to see how many “perfectly normal people” are thriving within the lifestyle. It’s even more awesome to feel the sheer swinger power we have when we all come together in a group.

So, July 19, here we come! I know it’s a little too early to actually PACK, but that’s never stopped me from planning. And if you’ll indulge my excitement, I’ll let you in on my planning secrets in case you might be heading there or to any similar unfamiliar swinger’s event this summer.

First, heat is your friend! It’s going to be super hot in Vegas on those dates, so I’ve been setting aside all my skimpiest clothes: thongs, bikinis, Daisy Dukes and anything see-through goes in the “yes” pile. It’s a real thrill to prepare outfits so completely different from my day-at-the-office wardrobe. I have delectable melon-shaped 36DDs and folks, these babies want some air! Oversized jackets and tent blouses need not apply. When I go to a lifestyle convention I pick outfits that showcase my cleavage, accent on the show. I absolutely love mesmerizing the men as they watch me jiggle on by with a smile on my face. Moving on down, my husband specially asked me to stock up on garter belts and crotchless panties, too ‒wear fabric over my muff at a party? Never! I like to give my playmates easy access to the goodies… and it’s so much easier to pass a horny girl like me from lap to lap if my pussy is totally exposed. My boobs go bumpy just thinking about it.

I have to admit that my rampant exhibitionism is a huge part of why we attend conventions. Pool parties are part of the daylight scene, and it’s where I do a lot of my scoping for potential partners. (Not only do I cruise for men who appeal to me, but I also keep a special crotch-watch for men who are happy to see me! They’re usually dressed to let it show.) Then in the evenings, at the parties, it’s time to show off my body. I don’t like to have any tell-tale tan marks. I know I won’t be able to tan nude at this convention, so I made sure to buy one of those bikinis made of “tan-through” fabric. (Of course I still wear sunblock on every inch of my body to keep my skin young and smooth… and I always ask my cutest new friends to put it on for me!) I like to accessorize my bikini with a cowboy hat and shades for a true bad-girl ready-to-party look. You always want to find out your nude policy before you go to one of these things. If you know how things work, you can work around any limitation ‒ but finding out the no-nude rules “the hard way” can put a damper on your day. For my trip, because Lifestyles does not have the entire hotel reserved, we have to “stay decent” in front of the regular tourists ‒ in other words “cover up” in the common areas.

For me, that means: sarongs! Sarongs rule: not only can you wear them a million different ways, you can lay them down on a hotel bed for sanitation, your own private, temporary “sheet.” Sanitation and hygiene are soooo important at these gatherings. As for you men, bring a decent-looking robe or two and Hef it up!

Another reason we keep going back to the Lifestyles Convention is that I’m addicted to the nightly dance parties. Electricity, anticipation, seduction and grand scale teasing ‒ it’s exhibitionist Heaven. I know I warned you that I’m a party addict, but here’s the part where I confess that I’ve already studied the program and planned all my outfits for the big-4 theme parties. Maybe most of you don’t need to be so obsessive in your planning, but as I said, Bunny hasn’t gotten out much this past winter. And I’m happy to report that she’s enjoyed some great sexual fantasies planning these costumes. The first night’s party is “Cool White / Hot Night,” which is probably sort of like Puff Daddy’s famous all-white summer party in the Hamptons. I’m thinking Madonna in her Like a Virgin “slut bride” phase. All I have to do is go to Goodwill or Sally’s and buy a wedding gown left from the ‘80s that can be sexily ripped apart! Then I’ll add some bangles and white fishnets and crawl around panting like a never-been-fucked bride in heat. I’m dressing my hubby in a modified white tuxedo… well, he’ll at least get the white cummerbund and bow tie! Then, “Naughty Neon” night is going to be easy… we’re going in neon latex body paint only… I’m already packing a tarp so we don’t make a huge mess in the Stardust bathroom putting it on! (I love planning the little things.) OK, now for “Jungle Safari.” I’m going for a Beyonce-Kelly-and-Michelle Survivor look ‒ that’s right, the part where they found the furs and skins and fashioned them into skimpy teeny jungle bikinis -- ungha-bungha! The last night’s blowout is the big “Pirates and Wenches” dance. I already have this sort-of French Maid outfit that I’m going to repurpose as a “wench dress.” My husband is getting an eye patch and braiding his beard like Jack Sparrow ‒ so sexy. We’re expecting to have an incredible time letting loose and acting wild on our last night ‒ “over the gang plank, lassie” “oh, sir, shiver me with your timber!” If all goes according to plan, we’ll be getting down, dirty and piratey with our new and old friends.

In spite of all the hot, erotic fun, we go to conventions for more than just partying ‒ I know it may be hard to believe. We also go to learn and expand our sexual horizons. At the Lifestyles this year, there are going to be over 40 different seminar sessions -- 18 classes of each, so we’ll all have plenty of chances to attend the class we want. I’m personally looking forward to attending the “Squirt-Shop Workshop” for ladies only ‒ I mean, where else is someone going to take the time to show you how to squirt? And in an environment where women from all walks can compare notes with each other? I’ve seen some talented women gush when they come, and I can’t wait to learn more about it. My man and I will definitely be going to see “Polyamory: Having Your Kate & Edith Too,” not only because the name is the cutest thing I’ve heard in my whole life, but also because I’m beginning to have serious feelings for one of my female friends. So we’re going to try to learn more about “loving many.” Because I love to strut my stuff on the dance floor, you know I will have to be at the Striptease Workshop in hopes of learning some new moves. I mean I have moves ‒ an exhibitionist like myself is a natural after all. But I can never have enough sexy tricks up my naked arm. Finally, we wouldn’t dare miss “Behind the Scenes (of an Adult Video).” We watch a lot of adult movies and are interested in finding out the “ins and outs” of the scene. We also do a fair amount of amateur shooting ourselves, so we are hoping it will help with that.

As I pull things out of drawers, my active imagination thinks ahead to convention days and… OK, I’ve even started collecting what I call “the necessities” for our eveready fanny pack. You know, those crucial little things: condoms, water-based lube, latex gloves, toy cleanser, and a nice portable vibe. I also keep index cards and pens in there so we can trade names and numbers with couples we like. (My husband swears that he will keep this up to date in his Blackberry, but I’m still bringing my trusty index cards.) Hubby is also in charge of the digital camera and batteries, batteries, batteries. The batteries power the camera so we have our special X-rated souvenirs. (IMPORTANT: never take a photo of someone without their express consent.) The batteries also power the vibrator.

A word to the wise: do NOT travel with the batteries inserted in the vibe! They can accidentally turn on, and then your suspiciously buzzing suitcase will attract the attention of security guards! Sex toys in general MUST be packed in your checked luggage. Don’t even think of trying to get it through in a carry-on, especially if it involves BDSM at all. Trust me: I was stopped a few years back in Reno for having a pair of play cuffs in my carry-on bag, and it was an intensely blush-worthy experience. (And this was before heavy-duty air security began in 2001.) Having three leering guards dangle your metal cuffs in the air and ask you probing questions about their intended use may be hot in a fantasy, but it’s tremendously embarrassing in real life!

That’s all for now as I get ready for my convention in July, but you’ll probably hear from me again as Convention gears up.

Sweet dreams and happy swinging! --Bunny

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Been to a swinger convention lately? If you have, tell us about it in the comments below. If you’re planning to attend one soon, Lifestyles or other, let us know. One Night Stand Girls editors will be combing the comments looking for good convention stories to include in this column! Let everyone know that the swinger’s scene is lively and thriving across the globe.